uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
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