So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
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