I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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