Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
Randomize
