Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
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