Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
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