he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
time to smoke my breakfast
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
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