So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
COCAINE IS GR8
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
Randomize