Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
Randomize
