Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
Every concussion has its silver lining
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
Randomize
