The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
You left me a really long voicemail saying, "Hey, it's meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee." and then the rest is just loud laughter
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