Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
Randomize
