if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
