What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
Randomize
