somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
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