He is such a slut. More and more my type.
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
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