Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
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