Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
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