What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
This house was built for laser tag.
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
I just had sex on a roof
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
My vagina just clenched in fear
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
Randomize
