I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
