Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
My bed smells like the plague
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
Randomize
