you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
