Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
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