I heard we made out
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Randomize
