My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
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