I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
Randomize
