Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Randomize
