I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
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