Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
Randomize
