I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
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