Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
the gays at disneyland are vicious
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
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