if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
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