dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
Randomize
