my boob sweat smells like rotting zombie flesh
is this your pickup line?
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
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