no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
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