I forgot how hot balto sounded
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
Randomize
