So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
Since you didn't call me back last night, I can only assume that in 9 months you're going to have a child that I'm going to refer to as, "Daddy's little mistake in Miami."
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
Can you repeat that, but with context?
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
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