No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
Is it sad or funny that I just bought two pregnancy test at the dollar store to give away to people on New Year's Eve while driving for Uber.
Randomize
