I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
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