non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
Randomize
