he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
Randomize
