I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
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