Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
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