There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
Randomize
