I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize
