Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(906): View more from Michigan

So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.

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(918): View more from Oklahoma

She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...

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(571): View more from Virginia

so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.

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(817): View more from Texas

they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life

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(978): View more from Massachusetts

Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question

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(408): View more from California

Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.

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(614): View more from Ohio

I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.

(1-614): View more from Ohio

Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?

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(215): View more from Pennsylvania

Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service

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(405): View more from Oklahoma

We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.

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