It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
Randomize
