My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
Randomize
