its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
That's intense
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
Randomize
