how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
When did angry sex become our thing?
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
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