yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
These tits shall not be calmed
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
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