Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
After you finished the $300 bottle of wine you just started crying about how if Mulder and Scully didn't invite you to join the x-files your life would be meaningless because you "love that weird shit"
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
Randomize