Is it normal to miss your booty call?
she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
you're hired as official boob wrangler
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
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