I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
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