So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
Randomize