made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
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