What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
