I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
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