the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
The convent might be a nice break from real life
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
