I want to walk on stilts...naked
My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
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