Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
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