Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
Randomize
